


Where Kindness Hides

by nexus9



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Character Study, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, M/M, SET AFTER S7, Space Dad Shiro (Voltron), basically this is me elaborating on the toxic environment she was forced to grow up in, im projecting a little (a lot) but thats how it be sometimes!, living in whats virtually a lotor cult cant be good for the brain, romelle needs a hug, sorry if this is edgy i just wanted to get it out of my head
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-14
Updated: 2018-09-10
Packaged: 2019-06-27 12:55:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15685863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nexus9/pseuds/nexus9
Summary: Romelle adapts, and she learns, because sometimes that's the only thing you can do. And little by little, she accepts kindness as humans give it.





	1. Three Things

 

Romelle's room at the Garrison was completely bare expect for three things. The first was the communicator that Bandor placed in her hands before he marched to his own death, at the hands of Lotor. The communicator was worn and had scratches along its' metal rim, which Romelle liked to run her fingers over when she was thinking. Her father called it a 'nervous tic,' which her mother always protested, calling her daughter 'cautious'.

“My daughter isn’t nervous,” she would protest. “She’s too brave for that. Aren’t you, Romelle?” 

She would always pinch Romelle’s cheeks after this, and Romelle would never answer. 

 

She kept the communicator wrapped in a small silk bag, which had been a gift from Krolia. She kept it on the small, modern bed stand in her garrison dorm at night and in her pocket during the day, in case she needed to run her fingers over the shiny, dented sides when she was thinking. She thought of the scratches as proof. Proof that she wasn't crazy, that this was all happening. That she had really been whisked away from a decaying life on an empty planet, and was now trying to save to universe. Proof that she had new friends, and that they cared about her. Proof of her brothers life.

 

The second was her old Altean clothes, jumbled in a heap in the corner of the small, sterile room. There was a closet, but Romelle was afraid that if she hung them up and closed the door she would forget about them. Crushing her clothes into a heap and flinging them across the room was a new practice for Romelle. Her mother always told her that it didn't matter how messy her thoughts were that day, your appearance always reflected the best of you. Romelle would look at the clothes in the corner and think,  _ maybe I have become a nervous person _ . She was always too afraid to pick them up.

 

The third was a small electronic device that Romelle didn’t recognize, a flat, orange piece of glass with two metal ends. It looked to blocky and colorful to be of Altean design, which Romelle thought was funny, because it was Lance who gave it to her in the first place. “So you can keep up. Earth gets pretty crazy sometimes.” He had said. Romelle couldn’t really figure out how to use it, because Lance’s seemingly short attention span had locked on to something else before giving her any instructions. It ticked and beeped sometimes and it always made her feel less alone, like the Paladins were always on the other side of that screen. This was the third gift she had been given since she left, since her life officially started.

 

Romelle couldn't see why the others thought of Pidge as the smartest. The most analytical, the best problem solver, maybe. But there was always something about Lance she couldn't put her finger on, even despite his ever-shortening attention span and the tendency to stretch jokes far past their expiration date. It was the little things, maybe. Scooping the last of his food into Hunk’s bowl because he always knew he wanted it more, propping a pillow under Shiro’s head whenever he fell asleep at his desk, saving Pidge’s files when she left the room so she wouldn’t lose any of her work. It was evident of a larger pattern that she had noticed about humanity, how important little gestures were to them. 

 

There were lots of things Romelle noticed about Earth, humans, especially. Her perpetually curious nature, much to her mother’s dismay, was only counteracted by the constant nervousness in her gut, the sinking feeling that something was about to go wrong. Romelle wished she could be a fearless as her brother, “always smaller but making up for it in spirit”, her father always said. But in the end, it was that sinking feeling that had kept her alive past all of them. Romelle still wished she could get rid of it. 

  
  


\----

 

Sometimes Romelle wished that it was just her and Krolia and Keith in that pod again. The trip back to the castle had taken several days, and those were some of the most peaceful days of Romelle’s life. The subtle presence of someone else in the room was something she missed, having spent so much of her time on a small planet, too stubborn to make friends after her brother had left. She could tell that this was also something Keith struggled with as well, and his mother didn't seem like the social type either. Their shared space for those several days was exactly that; a shared space. Nothing more. Romelle sometimes noticed a rift between the two, though, as if something was being left unsaid in front of her, as if neither of them even really knew the other at all.

 

_ This is good, though, _ she managed to convince herself.  _ This is comfortable. It’s comfortable.  _ Romelle had lost so much. She couldn’t handle losing any more. 

 

The loudness and the constant chatter between the lions on the trip back to Earth was only outmatched by the sheer  _ number _ of people that lived there. Romelle had never seen so many of a species all in one place before. Humans, Romelle realized, had a constant and unwavering desire to help. She saw these acts of kindness everywhere. People spent hours pushing the rubble of collapsed buildings around with nothing but their bare hands just to help a tiny child. They helped rebuild their neighbor’s stores and homes, sweeping crushed debris off the streets to clear the way for vehicles full of people they barely knew. She saw one rushed to bandage the leg of an injured cat, saving a life so small and feeble, but just as worthy of love as anyone else.  _ So they’re pack animals _ , Romelle thought.  _ They could survive without each other, they just choose not to.  _

 

On the planet that Romelle called her home, this would not have been tolerated. The strongest survived, that was something she had to learn quickly. It was the children with more rocks and sticks that terrorized the others, not the other way around. It was the Alteans with the closest connections with the crown, the highest levels of quintessence, who got to achieve the honor of going to the new colony. Kindness wasn't doled out from strangers like it was on Earth, it was something that you earned, from being strong enough to take it.  And if you weren’t strong enough, it was barely there. Kindness, in Romelle’s eyes, was in finding Yaraxyl babies by the river with Rahz and Petrulius, picking them up by their short, furry tails, and setting them back onto tree branches so they could scamper away unharmed. It was in Gnautu’s supportive hand on her shoulder every time she was determined unfit for the colonies. It was in her parent’s laughs. It was in her brother’s tight, crushing hugs.


	2. Keith & Krolia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey sorry for the late update, work's been CRAZY understaffed and I've been moving as well, so these past couple weeks haven't exactly been a prime writing environment. Yeah basically this chapter is just Krolia adopting Romelle. Writing crying scenes is ROUGH y'all.
> 
> I don't proofread these because I'm LAZY and BISEXUAL and if you have a complaint with grammar DO NOT COMMENT because I'll cry. Thank You and Goodnight
> 
> THIS SCENE IS A FLASHBACK! :)

The time it took to get back to Earth was a major adjustment. The three, four, (if you count Keith’s wolf), of them shared stories for most of the time, just trying to break the silence between when things got too awkward. Romelle was usually the one to do it, as neither Keith nor his mother seemed like the social type.

Romelle also had lots of questions.

“How do you fly the lions? Are they powered by quintessence, or some sort of crystal?”

Keith seemed both amused at her interest in the topic, and smug for being able to tell her the answer. 

“Well the lions are pretty complex, they use an ancient form of Altean ene-”

Romelle was already bored. “Do they have to charge, like the Solaris generators on planet Ben’edue? Or are they ready to go all the time?”

“Uh.”

“How come you were able to pilot the Black Lion just because Shiro said so? Shouldn’t you have to earn it? Is there a testing process?”

Krolia was holding her hand over her mouth, and looked like she was ready to explode from laughter. Keith shot her a glare, clearly not amused at all. 

“Do the lions choose you? In any case, who gets which lion? Wh-”

Keith cleared his throat loudly, enough to stop Romelle’s stream of questions. “The lions chose us, according to Allura, on traits that we exemplify. Stuff that we do well, that we can bring to the team.”

Krolia perked up. “The lions use all of these traits together to make a fully functional Voltron, but if a certain component was missing, the robot could never be formed.”

“Exactly,” Keith responded. “Like how when we first got started, it was always Shiro who would propel us into action. He was the only one who focused entirely on the mission, who really saw the importance of it.” Keith looked sad, Romelle noticed. “He was our rock.”

Romelle could tell Keith missed his friends, hanging out with no one but your own mother for two years on the back of a space whale (Darmeral, Romelle had told him) slowly drifting through the most volatile climate in the entire galaxy must have been both anxiety inducing and boring. Romelle knew the feeling, and she suddenly knew not to press him any further.

“Um. I’m gonna go catch up on some stuff. Knives don’t sharpen themselves,” He let out a very nervous, very Keith-like laugh that Romelle recognized as him bailing before the situation goes somewhere he can’t pull it back from. Keith, in control, always. “Krolia?”

Krolia nodded before taking her seat at the front of the pod, next to Romelle. Romelle could hear the soft click of the pod’s doors behind her, Keith going to sit in the back storage space.

“He doesn’t call you his mother.” Romelle says, as softly as she can. What is the situation between these two? For mother and son, they seem to not really even know each other at all. Avoiding each other’s glances, not touching. Everything about their relationship seemed strained, especially since Keith had told her that they had been each other’s only company for about two years. The perpetual static that lingered in the air whenever they spoke of their mission reminded Romelle of her and her mother’s worst fights, both of them spitting words at each other like they were acid, words they didn’t mean, words they did. The worst part was always the silence that followed, sometimes lasting days, until both of them decided to forget that it ever happened, or until Romelle could rationalize it enough in her head that it was her fault in the first place and apologize. Romelle’s mother was never the one to apologize. 

Krolia looks down at her lap, and tightens her grip on the pod’s yoke. Her eyebrows knit together and her mouth becomes a straight line across her face. This was a rare look for Krolia. It was something that suggested vulnerability, even sadness, and Krolia was the strongest person Romelle knew, even though she had only known her for a couple of days. 

“Sometimes I feel like I’m not.” Krolia is still looking down, not meeting Romelle’s eyes. She’s ashamed.

“What?”

“His mother. Sometimes I feel like I’m not even his mother. Or I don’t deserve to be. I don’t know.” She sighs, loosening her grip, and closes her eyes, looking at the ceiling. “I needed to complete my mission. The fate of the universe seemed bigger than me, at the time. I needed to help Kolivan, I needed to help the Blades, I needed to help Voltron, but I couldn’t help my only son. I always wonder if that’s irresponsible, or selfish, or just downright cruel, or if I was just doing what I could to help the fight.” She took another deep breath. “There are so many mothers out there, so many parents, that were ripped away from their children. None of them chose to leave. But that’s war.”

Romelle gripped the communicator in her pocket, ran her nails over the cracks and scratches on the edge. She could feel a sinking feeling in her gut. That’s just war.

Krolia kept talking. “But I got the chance to stay. I got the chance to have a child with someone I truly loved, and live a peaceful life, and give Keith one, too. And I gave it away. All so I could fight in a war that my people started. And the worst part is that I don’t even want to admit that it’s selfish to want to fight.”

“That isn’t your fault.” Romelle said shakily. She could feel the tears welling up in the corners of her eyes. “You love him. That’s what counts. You’re fighting to give him a better life, and so his children can have a better life, too! I’ve never met anyone as brave as you. You gave up a life that was right in front of you so that you could help people on other planets that you’ve never met. People like me. How is that selfish?

I wish that I could have had a mother like you.”

Krolia looks over at Romelle, eyes wide, shocked. Suddenly, she puts the pod on autopilot, gets up out of her seat and turns to where Romelle is sitting, and puts her arms around her shoulders, pulling her close into a hug. 

Romelle feels Krolia’s hands clasp across her back, and the warmth around her arms, and slowly moves her hands to the center of Krolia’s back. She nestles her head into the crook of her neck, and Krolia squeezes her tighter. Romelle feels the tears slip down her face and fall off her chin. She didn’t cry when her parents left. She didn’t cry when her brother died, or when Lotor’s booming voice seemed to be right behind her at all times, in her dreams, in the forest, by the river. She didn’t cry when she met Keith and Krolia, either. Romelle didn’t cry, and she never felt weak, she never allowed herself to. All of these things piled up like water behind a dam, and this was the rainstorm. But at this simple gesture, just at the feeling of having soft, strong arms around her, Romelle cried, her entire body racking with sobs. 

“Shhh, it’s okay, he can’t find you here,” Krolia whispered. “You don’t have to run anymore.”

Romelle sniffs. “....thank you.”

 

\-----

Nights in the pod were the hardest.

Romelle had never been off-planet before, having been from a family born and raised solely to go to the colonies. The thought of only having a small panel of metal between her and the cold, dark, massive expanse of outer space terrified and overwhelmed her. The others didn’t seem to be having any problems adjusting to the difference in atmosphere, taking to the sudden shift in their environment like pros. But Romelle couldn’t sleep. 

Staring blankly at the dark grey ceiling of the pod didn’t seem to be helping her increasing boredom, so she decided to check out the controls. Her little experience with different kinds of planes and crafts had left her with an extreme interest in them, so having a one-on-one chance to goof around with the different buttons and levers was something she was extremely excited about. 

Romelle poked her head out of the doors of the sleeping quarters of the pod, and tiptoed to the control panel. She quietly slid herself into the seat of the pod, periodically looking left and right to see if she had woken Keith or Krolia up. The controls were much more advanced than she had anticipated, so no barrel rolls were being done tonight. Romelle busied herself with looking out the window into the barren, eternal night of space and thought of her brother. 

“You want some help with that?” A teasing voice asked from behind Romelle. She whipped her head around, and standing there was Keith, out of his usual armor, and looking very tired, but still with a small smirk on his face. “I can teach you how to fly one of these things. Who knows, it might even come in handy later. I can’t tell you how many times my team has saved my skin in an air-to-air combat situation.” Keith leaned one arm on the passenger seat of the pod.

Romelle, at the thought of being able to learn how to fly, immediately grinned and nodded her head violently. “That would be amazing, Keith! Thank you!” she clasped her hands together in excitement and quickly stood up out of the driver’s seat, letting Keith get the first ride.

“Ok….let’s see here…” Keith flexed his fingers and looked at the control panel, taking it all in. Romelle forgot that he hadn’t done this in a while. Ace pilot or not, lack of practice makes you rusty. After all, it was Krolia who had gotten them up here, harping on the two of them that they had been through a lot, that they needed more rest, etc. After periodically speeding up and slowing down the pod for about five minutes, it seemed that Keith had deemed himself ready to teach again.

With Romelle hunched down over his shoulder, trying to get as close as possible, Keith explained the different systems of the craft and what they did, gears, wing spars, vertical and horizontal stabilizers, radar mission software and warning receiver antenna, Romelle took it all in like it led to the location of the holy grail. 

“You think you got it?” Keith asked, stepping out of the chair and away from the controls, so Romelle could try.

She nodded, and sat down. After a few minutes of random bumps interspersed with steady flying, Romelle took to it like a fish to water. 

“You’re a natural!” Keith exclaimed, smiling. “Better than those kids back at the Garrison with me, at least,” he chucked.

Romelle giggled alongside him, even though she didn’t fully understand what he was talking about. Keith didn’t elaborate. Romelle continued to fly the ship at a steady pace, this time accompanied by a static sort of silence that made the air almost unbreathable. 

“I’ve noticed you talk about Earth a lot,” Romelle inquired. “It must have been a special place to you, I presume?”

Keith thought about this for a while, his eyebrows knitting in concentration. “I dont know if it was,” he murmurs, “special, I mean. I didn’t really have anything there. My dad died when I was young. He was a firefighter, a real hero. I wanted to be just like him.” Keith smiles. Romelle cocks her head to the side, confused. Keith realizes that human professions are, well, alien to her. “Firefighters, well, they fight fire. They save people.

Maybe I just miss my friends.” Keith looks straight ahead. Romelle is sad for him, she knows how tough grief can be, but is still impressed at her own ability to keep the ship steady through all of this. She decided to change the subject.

“You never did tell me how you picked the lions- uh, how they picked you,” Romelle looks at Keith, his brows furrowed. 

“Well,” he starts, clearly not knowing where to begin. “The lions… the know who needs to do what. Voltron is… very organized. Every spot needs to be filled. The Black Lion is the leader, you know that, so it needs to be piloted by someone with.. Leadership qualities. That’s Shiro.”

Romelle nods, noticing how Keith voluntarily left himself out of the equation when describing the Black Lion.

Keith continued, “Shiro is… god, he’s so good at what he does. Everyone knew that, even back on Earth. He was practically everyone’s hero, we all looked up to him. And it wasn’t even his flying skills, either. It was his ability to keep calm in a fight. It was his ability to assess the situation calmly. He always kept a level head. That’s what the Black Lion needs.”

“Uh, so there’s the Red Lion as well, I guess that was me, at least at first. The Red Lion is the hardest to pilot, ‘cause she’s the fastest. She’s definitely the hardest to win over as well,” he chuckled, clearly remembering something Romelle couldn’t see, “she needs someone who can make a judgement call in the heat of the battle, and not look back. Someone decisive.”

“Then goes the Green Lion. That’s Pidge, and I feel like it always will be. She’s smart, I sometimes feel like she’s reading out of a book when she talks, that’s how smart she is. Not even just that, she’s enthusiastic, too. Loves learning about new cultures, different species, new tech, all of that. She’s a lot like her brother.” Keith smiled.

“There’s Yellow, who Hunk pilots. Hunk is just… I dunno, he just a great guy. You would love him. He always knows what to say. He doesn’t get wrapped up in stuff like the rest of us do. He has a clear focus, and he’s loyal to a fault, and brave, even if he doesn’t think he is.”

“Then there’s Blue. That’s Lance. I guess he’s the goofball of the group, or he likes to think he is. I like to think he is, too,” he turns to Romelle, “but don’t tell him that. He’s our sharpshooter, and he’s pretty great at it. Seriously, I have no idea where he learned to shoot like that. Lance is…” Keith smiled softly, the corners of his mouth tugging just so slightly, a truly Keith smile. His eyebrows softened. “Lance is what holds all of us together.”

Romelle is fascinated, her grip on the wheel turning her knuckles white and her view of deep space almost seeming like it was growing around them. “You two sounded close.”

“We were.” 

Romelle thinks that maybe she should take care of Keith for a change. They’ve been so good to her. “Maybe we should go to bed.”

Keith smiled, but the sincerity from before had dimmed just so slightly. “Maybe we should.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At first I thought that this fic was just a one-chapter thing that I needed to get out of my system, but projecting onto Romelle is something that was more fun than expected. (family death trauma, woohoo.) I might continue this but I dunno where it would go from here, probably just Romelle bonding with the other paladins. Suggestions welcome, lmao.

**Author's Note:**

> So basically this is set right after season 7 ends, and the paladins are taking a little break from ~saving the universe~ to recuperate (they don't have healing pods anymore) and rebuild Earth. 
> 
> This is pretty much a self indulgent lil fic about everyone's new fave, Romelle, and her relationships with the paladins and Earth. 
> 
> Voltron has a kind of shitty habit of glossing over traumatic events so i just wanted to give Romelle her due. She's been thru a LOT lmao. This is mostly a character study cuz i wanted to focus on characterization but there are background relationships too.
> 
> Also, I listened to Stairway To Heaven by Led Zeppelin while writing this so listen to that for the full Mood I guess.


End file.
